Objectifying women

We have come so fare form how women and men are treated as objects in the work place.  I have recently come across several situations where young women are being reduced to having to dress a certain way in order to have a job.  I do agree that we have to have some professionalism and want to take care of how you look further more we need appreciate ourselves.  Young girls are very impressionable because they are still trying to figure out who they are even in their early 20's.When a girl goes to the club and get a business card handed to her to work at a place like Hooters, Moxie's, and Earls because she has the right body type for their so call image.  I gut that you need to be attractive to bring customer, however I do not agree with if a girl has the "right body type" that this is reason they should get hired.  It seems it is mostly men that own these establishments and I will have to say that these men are objectifying these women that want to make money by through severs people in the food industry and to earn tips based on her costumer service skills.   The manager will tell you what you can and can not ware to work which is far however when a person has a medical condition that indicates that they can not ware stiletto heals because of bad knees they should be made to accommodate that person.  What girl goes out clubbing and wares stiletto heals the whole time and dressing in a tight miny skirt.  Yes there are girls out there that do dress that way to accurate men however they have issues of their own and maybe they are the girls wanting to work in those places then go for it.  I do not agree with making young women dress like a prostitutes in order to have a certain image and when they do not have a short, or tight enough skirt or shirt that is reveling.

The insecurity of women is so high and the managers of these places do not understand the long term affect of this kind of objectifying women to dress a certain way.  I can almost gerentee that some of the girls that work at these establishments could most likely have issues with their body which intern makes issues with their self esteem.   The women in the service industry need to be heard and respected for who they are as a person and not for what they look like on the outside.   I also think that women in these establishments are even seen as objects by the coworkers because the guy may think that the girl is wanting to hook up with but in all reality its just a job to her.  this can lead to dangerous situations for the women.

Another years has come and gone

Where did 2008 go? As I started writing in a few Christmas Cards this year I started writing a novel in them letting them know what I have been doing this past year. Its funny the more I started to write the more I started to remember. Which got me thinking that I didn't write down any of my grand adventures.

Well this year has had lots of changes starting with me quitting my decor job because my boss had way too much expectations of me. Where clearing the Job requires two to three and even four people to carrying the job off right. You know me I need to get the Job done right because I am a neat freak. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed see the finished product of the decor and the ideas that were amazing. Like the star trek enterprise. She had some one make a replica of the ship.

Christmas time was such a hand full I say if never had to decorate or carry another Christmas tree again in my life I think I would be rather happy with that. I got a lot of ideas for my wedding that I would love to create or have.

During this time I had some potential prospects of possible boys to date. One of them was actually going to come to Edmonton and hang out for about a week. We would talk on the phone all night you could say and have really good conversations. Unfortunately this match was not in the cards. I think he is a great person but he was just not for me. I did how ever lean something about myself and what I would like to see in a potential boy to husband.

Well for 8 months after quitting my job, I went back to work with Catholic Social Services as a replacement worker. I found out that I had reached the 5 years mark in May apparently. They seem to think I am a lifer. I just laugh and say nope. I work as a replacement work in a few of the home taking shifts because staff was sick, on leave or vacations. I worked at one particular house constantly. I Loved working in this home because of the staff, they all tried to get me to come on as a full time worker. I was wanting the Monday to Friday dream job only working during the day. Working for those homes was great I got in touch with some old clients I had worked with and made some new bonds with the new ones that come in. I met some great staff and I am helping in Planning her wedding and I am also in the bridal party as well. I am so excited for her and her fiancee. Speaking of weddings, we have this person called Nurse Linda that comes in with fairy cards. Now to me fairy cards are like taro cards they periodic the future. Well I don't believe in them I just do this to amuse Nurse Linda. So I pick one day and I get the Marriage card and I start to laugh because the card said. You will have someone close to you get married soon and I will meet my future companion at this wedding. Also that your ideas of marriage needs to change. I just laugh and think its so funny, mean while every day this child that I work with reminds me of my so call commitment issues I have with being married.  I just pay no attention to it and move on with my day because I know this particular child is just trying to get a rise out of me. How ever I was working NON stop, I would work any were between 100 hours every two and half weeks to 155 hours every two and half weeks. Yes very crazy I know.  What made this even more funny was the fact that my Brother was getting married this summer and I would be attending this wedding.  Well I knew darn well that I would not be finding my future husband there because of my brothers life style does not fit well with mine.  

During this time I was consonantly looking for jobs that would offer me my dream job. I had applied for a Social worker position but never got the job. I figured it was because I hadn't have experience working in a office doing admin stuff. I have always been kinda afraid of those kinds of jobs because of my struggles with spelling and remembering things. I say I wanted this dream job and Low and behold I found it. Late in the summer I had applied for a job at Be My Parents. Its funny how this happens because I was on the computer and I typed in Foster care, adoptions and they popped up on my Google search. So I applied not thinking I would get the job. Low and behold i got the job and started in September.

Now don't get me wrong about all the work I was doing. Work alcoholic yes but I did how ever take some time for my self and friends. I took a trip to Utah Salt Lake and then to San Fransisco. I also got to go to Waterton, Cardston, and Buffalo head smashed with a friend.

Colleen and I drove from Edmonton Alberta to Utah to attend Conference. Is is a conference that happens twice a year and I had never been there and always wanted to do. Colleen wanted to go because she was a new member of the church and really wanted to see Salt Lake and go to San Fransisco. I loved to Drive at night so we left Edmonton around 6pm and got to Salt Lake the next day at 12 noon. The things that kept me going were energy drinks and my new car stereo that players my Ipod.

In Salt lake we stayed at my Best-est Best friend Sherry. I haven't been to see her in years but we are like sister. She is a photographer and had to do a wedding shoot not fair off from Temple square the night we arrived. Before that Me and Colleen walked around Temple square enjoy the wonderful spirit that is felt there and walking through the visitors center. This was Colleens first time to Utah because she had just became a member to the church.  I wanted to give her the best experience as possible because I know how I felt when I want down to Temple square for the first time.  We had to reasons to head to Utah first was conference and then head to San Fransisco

Colleen, Sherry and My self traveled to San Fransisco as a girls weekend way with not boys.  We left right after Conference and had little stops along the way.  One of the places we stopped at was the Salt Flats, which was amazingly bright. The pictures were taken mostly by my good friend and I have some but can not fingure out who took what.

I drove for 12 hours state and when we got there it was in the middle of the night and had to search for the hotel I booked.  I crashed because I was the only one driving because none of the other people in the car either could not drive at night or did not have a drivers license. 

The activities that was the most exciting and adventurous was when we went to the Golden Gate Bring because we went driving round and found the beach that most post cards shot from for San Fransisco.  We were also able to get our feet wet. 

 We were also able to hang out at fishermen wharf and take our adventures to the ALCATRAZ were we took pictures of us being prisoners just like on Prison Break.  Mostly because Sherry was obsessed about Prison Break.  We watch the whole first season on the way to San Fransisco.

 

I had decided to down south in Alberta with a friend we stoppted in several placese. This trip was all about just getting way and doing a road trip.   I wanted to work on my photography and also because it was a place I had not gone too and hear so much about those places. 

 Bufflelo head smashed in, was cool to see and learn about the buffelo that rome here also about the aboringinal poeple and their beautiful culture.

 

Waterton and the Rock river were amazing,  I can not wait to go back to those places.  It reminds me of BC with the mountines and the water Home sweet home to me.

The job I started in Setpember was BE My Parents, this was my dream job because I had my own clients, office and important meetings to attend.  This job working with people that wanted to adopt, or foster youth / children that were in care.  I was able to give a clear indication as to what kind of children peopel were accaully getting and also I could get them to think about if adoption or fostering this was really for them.  I find that majorty of people that would want to foster are just thinking about the money and not about the youth that would becoming into the home.  I know that some family are caring and do have a supportive inviroment but we do not hear so much about those family mostly about the ones that fail. 

Moving once a gain for the 12 time since I have lived in Edmonton. Friends telling me she started a new page in her address book because I have moved so much.  For one month I stayed with a dear friend of mine, and then moved into the Rivervally Ward in Edmonton.  This ward is great because I already knew some people and I felt that this was the right ward for me to become aquantied with being in a Family Ward as I was single and not married. 

Getting a new Carma Canon 40 D digital to start my photography class that is through New York Institute of Photography. Because I wanted to improve my photography skill and to one day have my own studio in my house to take portraits.  

Moving into a family ward from a single adult ward. the calling I got was in the primary working with an idividual that has autism.  This family was great to work with and I was able to have the parent s enjoy church while their daughter was in primary.  I was then placed with another little guy that has so much personality and love.  I did not last long in primary because I was not comfortable teaching in church because I am not confident in the scriptures.

My roommate and I have a mutural friend that we wanted to give her a christmas present too. however what do you give someone that has every thing.  So we came up with looking after all of her grandchildren so that the adults could go out for dinner and have a setion at the temple as a family.  We baby sat  11 childern from the ages 3-11 it was so much fun.  The kids were able to make a craft to put on the christmas tree for their Nana and Papa.  Wow what a year 2008

Epipheny always on the rise for me

As I continue my education I am constantly reminded about how others in the world are treated unfairly.  In some countries they do not have proper shelter, food, clean running water, equal rights, freedom of speech, or even freedom of spirituality.  I realized that globalization has defiled our world but has also benefited developing economies.  It would seem that people in developing countries want third world countries to have the same opportunities they have.  However, it comes with a prices through rights, environmental issues, and health concerns.  The devolving countries want their economy to grow and do so by having cheap labor (sweat shops), lower standers for environmental wast and poor health care.  What I find so profound is that so many of this people living in places with turmoil they have such gratitude for even the smallest amount of services that is given to them.  After celebrating our Nations Birthday it is was wonderful, to be reminded about how much gratitude I have for living in this country and in my life. There are many things people are grateful for like food, shelter, running water, spirituality, and freedom. Gratitude is an interesting word that has profound meaning for each individual.  Gratitude stems from the tender Mercer of God that are given to us everyday.  Through out the world right now there are wars, tribulations, or sacrifices in which people are trying to achieve a glimpse of freedom.  I sometimes feel so helpless because the world is so big and how is one person suppose to make a difference.  To be able to be freely educated regardless of gender is so powerful because it indicates that women are not just a pretty face but they have thoughts and ideas that are useful to societies. The power that women have to vote is profound due to that women are equal to men and that women should have a say in how the world is run.  The world now was not always this way, I would hope the world never heads backward but improve on how we communicate with others.

To know how the world works is important because we can then understand how to support others in the world.  However we do not want to force people to change it has to be by there choice.   From my point of view it would seem that governments, sometimes go into helping a country however they have no idea how to infect change in a positive way.


 

Insomia

Well it would seem that there are a few things preventing me from falling asleep tonight. First being the fact that i spent the about three hours with a car dealer trying to figure out if I could get a Nissan Versa. They are only going to give me auto windows, locks, and key less entry, tinted window and car starter. Turns out that it is really expensive car and out of my price range. How ever I really like the way it handles on the road. The other car is the Hyundai Elontra Touring. I really like how this car handles on the road as well. Its a lot bigger then what my old car was and it has cruse control, A/C, heated mirrors and seats, axillary outlet for IPOD, Auto lock, auto windows, Heated rear wiper, tinted windows, car starter and Cell phone plug in not just through the cigarette lighter. Seems like a no brainier i guess but its really stressing me out. I think its because my old car was great and I had just finish paying it off and it gets hit and also put in a new stereo.
I am also very stressed out about finding a job. I have applied but didn't get any of them. I am just not sure what I can apply for. Some people think school, advertisement, and Secretary. All i want to do is find home for children. The government is Blind if they thing they can do a job with only 3 people when my company did it with 14. IF funny how the government want to cut back on sending and the first thing the take away from is the social human resources. Are we not suppose be helping our own people around us.
I am just trying to keep my self from falling apart.

Car accident

Well today was a productive day and achieved a lot. After work had planed to pick up some stuff for my roommate for dinner and then go snowboarding with my friend Steven. Steven was teaching me how to get comfortable on doing down the hill and to practise what he had taught me on our previous lesson. I felt I was doing alright, then all of a sudden we here this crash. I was part way down the hill when I here Steven say some guy just hit a tree, oh he hit a car.... Alison I think he hit your car. I was in a mad rush to get my board off my feet, when I finally got my board off I ran and dropped my board and hoped the fence to have a look. All I was trying to see was how bad the car was. I just couldn't believe my car was hit.

This is what I saw as I walked up to my Car. I was like my poor car and in shock that this had happen. I was so happy that every one was okay and that no one was injured. The guy that hit me asked me if my car was okay to be moved. I was about to move it and then thought No I need photos for my Insurance.

I was also though it was weird that my car ended up angled like this, it makes me wounder how fast he was going.

Apparently this is where he started to lose control over his car and never regained control. I think its about two or three car lengths that my car moved Crazy.

The car on the left had side saw every thing because the guy was trying to pass her on the right hand side and hit the ice fish tailed, she thought he had it under control but he didn't.

The guy that hit me talking on the phone to get his roommate and possibly talk to his insurance people

His car is not drivable any more.

My Poor car!!!! It funny I am making my last payment on this car this month. I had had someone hit me in the bumper a few years ago because she backed up into me with a trailer hitch attached to her vehicle. She was already and willing to get my bumper fixed. I guess it was just a mater of time before someone else came along and hit me. I phoned this lady and told her the good news for her but not for me.

Photography Classes

Well I have been taking a photography class. I have been taking pictures all manual and tyring different things with my camera.

I have know this girl for about a two years. She is a fun loving carefree, out going, and beautiful. I had a photo shoot with an amazing girl who was willing to be crazy and try different shots. She was fun to shot.

This was really cool to shoot, wanting to have the feeling of light in a dark place. It was fun to do because of the mirror and candle

I really like the capture of distance in her eyes.

This one seems to the esens of light

We wanted to have some glamor pictures that would portray the Gap and Posh look


This was a vision of sheer posh of glamor


I like this shot because it shows that she is in deep thougth right before the storm.
This is a great photo because its captures the essence of the beauty of before the storm

I really like working with this client she was so much fun and the her beauty makes the picture. She got me to think of things that I wouldn't have though of to do.

A tribute to Amazing, wonderful Women

I have been thinking about all the blessing I have had in my life. I had an overwhelming feeling come over me and the women that are listed here all came to my mind. I would say most of them are sent from my Heavenly Father that knows me. Its not so much the number of women in my life that have I have been blessed by. Its how they have affected me.

I would like to pay tribute to a few of them. First and foremost is my Mother. For some, that read this know that I am adopted and I was raised by a great person. My mother has wisdom, insight, humble, endurance, and Love beyond her years. She knew that I was to be apart of her family even before she knew. My mother stopped at nothing so that I can have the best education possible. My mother loves to read and I have always loved that she educates her mind all the time. She has passed it to me because I love being educated. She always encourage me to never settle for anything that you want. The sky is the limit. My mother has taught me that no mater what happened that you need to endure to the end. I know my mother will always be there Even thought the eternity's. She taught me to seek for eternally family.

Second is my grade five resource room Teacher. I can honestly say that she is a marvelous person. She has showed me courage, strength, kindness, selfless and charity. This Teacher is a teacher that would go the extra mile for a student. She has shown such sacrifice of her own personal life to help all her students. She would call this being a work alcoholic and being a perfectionist. I don't see it that way. I would go and help her to get of the school before 7 o'clock on a Friday so that she could have some time to her self. I say she has strength and courage because of her own personal struggles. I have seen her come through with a new brightness upon her and its demonstrated through her husband and children. She is full of so many talents that it cease to amaze me what else she is capable of. She was one of the person who has helped me through some of my things with out showing a hesitation. She taught me that its okay to sacrifice your time for some one else

Third is my friend who is also a teacher. The words that describe this person is funny, Solidity, wisdom and endurance. A single mom who is devoted to helping her children active what they want in life (with in reason). If I have ever seen a women who has had trial have trial in the life its is her, in yet she has positive out look on life. She has taught me that what you put out into the world is what you are going to get back. That takes will power to keep your mind focused on the good things in life. She never gave up on me, for example when I was failing Social studies and had to re due the class. She took the time out to tutor me because she and I both knew I could pass this class. She has always been there when I need someone to chat to about my crazy life. She taught me to look forward not back wards

This friend I have known since I was 12 years old watch her raise a family of five boys. I look at this woman and think a great example of virtue, patience, love and charity. I remember her helping get my young women's Medallions. She was determined that I would get them before I left young woman's. She knew I could do these things. I would go over to here house to work on these goals and you know what she and I did complete them all. All I can say is that is women is good example because she got me to actually attend Young Woman's camp for my first and last time in Young woman. I know she is always there for me and helps me keep things in perspective and real. I am great full for her example and her children. She taught me to show humility.

WOW this friend is also a teacher but retired. I think I really connect well with teachers. She is inspired by divine inspirations, humble, talented, and charitable. This woman is remarkable who is and has devoted her time in helping those that are less fortunate by making baby packages for baby's that are in need. She is inspired by the spirit because I recall a time when I first met this outstanding woman. She was specking to our congregation and I knew she was specking to me. Even though I never met her. I know that she too was sent to me to guide me though what I need to go though. She has such strong values and she is always teaching or reminding me what I need or could be doing to help myself out. She is the kind of person that her home is always open. She taught me to endure to the end.

My Best friend is an outstanding woman of faith, virtue, endurance, strength and unconditional love. I have know this women for a long time. She was one of the girls in my life that had always been there when I need anything. We have so much in common. I believe we knew each other before we came to earth because of our instant friendship. She is the kind of person to never give up on someone and hopes that they will see their true potential. She has a faith in that is reflected in her countenance. I admire her for her strength, courage and endurance. She has taught me true faith.

I can say that all these women have given me something I will be able to pass on to my children when I have them. They have shown me what pure love is, pure charity is, true beauty is, humility is, Faithfulness is and have Saved me in some form or another. No mater what is happening in my life I knew that I could turn to any one of these women and have a safe haven to go to if i need one. I know that I am the person I am to day because of these women. Each of them have touched my heart and I only pray that I can be able to touch the lives around me.

Blogging edicet

I have recently come a cross a blogger that I was really disappointed in. This Blogger was venting and complaining about a gift they had received from a family member. They Clearly didn't like the gift and thought it was tacky. I know everyone is entitled to there own option in Blogging but I do how ever realizes that there needs to be some edicet for this Blogger. So I have thought of edicet rules

1) Be Smart, Blogging is not for personal Journal such as Venting Frustration about friends and family.

2) Be Positive, Dissing your in laws gift is a BIG NO NO

3) Be Funny, Tell funny stories that happen but leave out hurtful things

4) Be True, would you like to read things about you that are mean

5)Be Humble, Think before you write

6) Be Grateful for what you have and remember its for eternity

I have a few things to say in regards to this particular blogger "C" If bogging is for venting your frustrations out for the whole world to see and the expectation is that No one will add comments to the blog. This saddens me due to the lack of understanding this blogger has. I say GET A JOURNAL. Also the next time the thought come in your mind to write about a familt menber that may come across negatively think of this question " Is my blog more important to me then my Eternal family" If your blog is that important to bolgger "C", I feel so sad for this blogger, because they have lacked the understanding of how to be kind and understanding about those around them.... They are selfish and only think of them selves.

I know I have broken a few of my edicet rule but this it to prove a point. I do not care if this come back and bites me in the BUTT bring it on LOL

Church Callings

Well as some of you may know I have recently moved into a family ward. Granted in has been a good experiences thous so far. Things are quite different from a singles ward to a family ward one being children in sacrament meeting. Yes I love kids and they make a world of difference to the meeting. When I was first coming to the ward I though watch me get a calling in the primary. Low and Behold that is exactly what happen in this situation.








Let me tell you the how this came about.





I was looking for a home in this particular ward and had informed my friend who just happened to be the primary president. When things were looking like I didn't have a place to move. I was given a place to stay with her and her lovely home this included all of my personal belongings as well. I was so blessed by this act of charity. My stay there was wonderful and great. I was able to build new relationships and stronger ones with other people.





During my stay there we would joke about what kind of calling I would get and that she could use me in the primary. I said couldn't teach and teaching is very scary. she simply replied that I could reach and that is not that difficult.





After things had settled and I did find a place to live. That week she approached me by asking if I would mind giving my thoughts and my option about a child that had recently moved into the ward with autistic behaviours. Right then I thought to my self after meeting her "watch me get this calling". She also wondered what I thought if she would put my name in with other people she had in mind. I really don't remember what I said except that I didn't want to be isolated from the ward because I didn't know very many people.


It funny how things all work out because I was so afraid of getting a teaching calling that I was thinking about teaching a lot... I was at church one day after moving my things out of there house and into my new place. When the primary president gave a talk in church regarding teaching the primary children and the manuals for each level . After that talk I informed her that I was okay with teaching also that I learned and like her talk.





Well after church a member of the bishop brick l asking me to meet with him next week.... I knew full well that it was a calling. I also had though its going to be in the primary. I waited and anticipated what the calling was going to be all week. Like it says in the bible and it came to pass that I had received a call and the call was to be a primary teacher, but in a special way. The child I had met a few weeks back was the child I am going to be teaching. Granted I was scared and thought first why me, what could I possible teach this child. I stayed up late worrying about the first day and how this was going to work. With butter fly in my stomach I fell asleep hoping and praying that I wouldn't screw it up.





I had met with this child the day before i was going to be set apart. I found out some things about the child and things she liked and didn't like... I wanted to be knowable so i bought books to aid me in my understanding of Autism. Not only form a parents view but a siblings view.





This has been very helpful in this journey. I have learned thus so far that life is too short. That if we are running to fast every thing is just a blur on fast ward. We need to stop look, listen and see that little things that may be passing us by. this is a very had thing for me because I am so used to being the person to go go go go and not to stop, look, listen and see whats really happening around me... not so much work but MY live.





I can honestly say that this calling is be a blessing to me so far. I hope and pray that it will bless others as well.

Life changes

This past year as been a eye opening experiences trying to except the fact that I am single and turning 30. I don't really think is excepting the age thing but truly feeling like you are mature and know were you are going in this life. I have always thought that my life would be full of children always running around me laughing, crying and playing games or tricks on me. All though the kids I have been around have either been work kids and other peoples kids. It has taught me to be more understanding, patent, excepting, and non judgmental.

How do measure someones maturity, responsibility and knows where there life is going? I always thought I that I was person that is grow up but I have come to the conclusion that no one ever really grown up or knows where there life is headed. I think especially this last month that I have had to rely on the Lord to help me find the job I wanted. The really challenging part was when I had to move and there was a place all planed out but then everything went to the wolves. I almost lost it and thought this is it I am never going to find what I want, I am going to have to live out of my car. This was really scary thought to me. I know that would never really happen because I know lots of people in the city. I am at a wonderful home that full of everything I would want in my own home (one day I will have my own House), it clean, inviting, loving people, understanding people, almost a worry free feeling when I am here. I have nothing but respect for the Hirsches. I kept trying to look for places and one day after someone came up to me and said it looks like your going to have a nervous break down. I simply relayed that might just happen. I explained my situation and two days later I have place to live (except with out my cat),. This is really hard for me because I am lonely and found out that I really have NO true friends any more. So once again I am faced with trying to find something I truly like doing. I am learning to live my life and not let life come to me. I have always had the hope of life starting after you get married or have kids but NO it doesn't work that way.
I have so many dreams that I would like and will fulfill one day, I think it trying to except the time line that's not always that time line you like and see for your self. I think keeping the faith is one my biggest trials here on this earth and knowing that the Lord knows me, Loves and wants me to be something he knows I can be. In my Heart that's what I want to be.

New begins

Today I had a second interview with "Be My Parent" which is a job I applied for in the middle of July. To job is working with applicans for Foster Care and or adoptions, which is something I hav wanted to do since school. I went for the interview and thought I did well but not as wells I expected because I got the job. I am so excited to start this job but a little apprehensive too because its new and I am praying I do well and thing come easily to me. I am amazed how I have gotten my answers to my hidden prays. I have been struggling with some thing in my life and thinking I need a Vacation from one of the most important aspect of who I am.
I have to say I am so thankful for my Mother and how she is full of wisdom. I only hope I can be as helpful or insightful to my children when they need advice. I know my mother has sacrificed a lot for me and some times I have no idea how to repay her. I know My Mother was and is the person who was and is supposed to raise me. I owe part of my success to her and her patients kindness, hard working, role model, caring, Loving unconditionally, and insight.
I am truly blessed in my life with a loving parents, friends, the Gospel Job, roof over my head, clothing, food, car, entertainment
I just wanted to Say thank you to the people who helped me though life and especially to my Savior.

Twilight

Well tonight is the night were the world finds out who Bella will chose will it be Edward or Jacob. I must say that the to of them both have special things about them. I see in this book a change though out the characters. Edward being less controlling, selfless in leaving Bella to keep her from the dangers of him. Jacob is a fun loving guy to begin with but he can be arrogant and self observed. Yes he wants whats best for Bella but he is only going on his instincts of being a Werewolf. I see what i want and i am going to try my darnedest to to get it. I would have to say in this final book i hope Bella chooses Edward. I can't wait to read the book

Midnight thoughts

Well its 2 am and I have a million thoughts running through my mind. I am wondering about life and where I am headed. I am going to be embarking on a journey that will make me grow into a professional photographer. I am going to be doing this all by correspondence. This is really scary to me because I have never done anything like this with school. I have always been the kind of girl who sits a the front of the class room, looking like a keener. I have always had a passion for taking photos took some classes in high school but never went any further. Ever since I purchased a Canon Rebel that uses film that passion has returned. I know its all about trial and error with film and i have seen where I can improve. I recently had the opportunity to take photos with a digital camera that my best friend let me use while on my vacation to Utah and San Fransisco. I don`t have any of those photos yet but hopefully soon and I will explain them to all that read this. Any way I really want to get a digital camera to see my results quicker. The school I will be taking it through is New York institution of photography. I have a friend that will be taking this will me, we both have this passion

I recently went on a photo shoot of Twilger Park and the Legislative building. Some of the shots of me were not pleasant but here goes nothing.

Me and Barb a friend of mine were driving around and spotted this Monument. I thought it looked interesting.

This is my friend Barb, she was a lot of fun when we were out shooting photos. There are some funny ones of her that make me laugh and brings out her personality.

I thought this was funny... Its locked and no one is home.

My first thoughts of this pictures was humpty dumpty.

Every body was Kungfu Fighting.

We hiked through some muddy hills, walked through ant hills got get right by the water to get these shots. I will do almost any thing to get shots likes this. I only wish I had a digital and a telephoto lens.

The trails were captivating and inspiring. Its amazing how you are in a city when you are in the parks around Edmonton, it dosen`t seem like your in a city when you can get this close to nature.

The Funnest thing we saw that day was Asparagus growing randomly in the forest by the river. It was such a shock we took a picture of it.

The to the ledge we went, one of my favorite

places to take photos of people.

The Parliament building. I love the Arctic of this building.

Barb and Me doing our thing for a photo op.

I really like this tree it has aways inspired me. We did take pictures of us in the tree but I don`t like how I trued out in it. Man it was a pain to get into that tree.

I love this pic of me I actually look good.

I was trying to be creative with this one but I didn`t quite get it right maybe next time. In this picture it is Barb and Megan.

My first Family portered I don`t think i did too bad. I know this family because i lived with the girl in the photo for about a year before she got married. Now they have a beautiful son.

The was a group of grads that were taking pictures and I thought i could get a great shot of all of them. They all looked fabulous. The ledge is a popular place to take weddings, grads and family photos.

Well I am hoping that some of these shots have potential and that maybe one day i will be able to take even better photos. These are my thoughts at new 3 am PS just to make by friend happy i had to post lots of photos. LOL